Eden Allotments

Eden Allotments (sent in to me by Anon…)

A young chap was digging his allotment;

His hands were all blistered and red.

He sighed as he put down his shovel

And these are the words that he said.


“I’m having such trouble wi’ pigeons –

They’re eating up all that I plant

And some of them slugs are so hungry

It’s like feeding an ‘uge elephant”


“The soil is so hard and so lumpy

With thorns and thistles to boot.

An’ all this to-do ’cause my missus

Fancied a morsel of fruit.”


“We’ve plans to grow all sorts of veggies

With something to eat every day,

Which turns to be quite important

Now she’s in the family way.”


“Our plot is on Eden Allotments

With trees and herb bearing seeds;

But the land is so heavy and hard to work,

Full of brambles and briars and weeds.”


“There’s so much rain in the Winter

And so little sunshine in Spring

And as for the Summer, well, just for a change,

It’s the worst that the weather can bring.”


“So these are the words that I’m saying.

We’re so weary as you can’t believe.

Can you send us some sort of a helper?”

Yours faithfully, Adam and Eve.